Bien Frio: My Terere Tutorial.

Spain has Jamon serrano; Ireland has Guinness; and since everything is bigger in Texas, I'll give the lone star state the whole category of Tex-mex. Everywhere in the world has that one thing. That food or drink not only typical but rather characterizes the place and the people living there. It holds a special place in our hearts, and it can sometimes be hard to imagine that elsewhere in the world wouldn't have the same.

There are few things more Paraguayan than that.

Paraguay is no exception.

Rain Rain go away... or I might become a danger to myself or others.

September Showers bring October Flowers?

Generally speaking, I don’t like rain. I’m not one of those people who wistfully sighs, “Oh, I love the rain!” because they think it makes them sound deep or interesting, or whatever.  I’ve lived in the Pacific Northwest. I’ve had my fill.

In the most developed of countries rain can kill almost any plan. Day at the beach? Nope. Picnic? Sorry. Anything involving being outside and not hating your life? Try again tomorrow. It’s no different in Paraguay. Well, it is different. It’s worse. Imagine all the days that rain limited your activity, or made you change your plans, and add dirt roads.

Muddy roads suck. Yes, that's a cow in the background

So, I don’t do much here when it rains. The normally wonderful slow pace of life comes to a grinding halt at the first drop of precipitation. I don’t blame Paraguay for this tradition. Most people don’t have cars, and motos fling mud everywhere. There is no way to get anywhere without being covered in mud and soaked to the bone. I know this, because I once defiantly went out in the rain  in order to make a meeting, I knew would be canceled, simply to prove a point. What that point was, I have no idea.

To be fair, there isn’t really such a thing as a drizzle here. When it rains, I consider that God may actually exist, because someone is clearly mad up there. This is not helped any by the reverberation of my tin roof with every drop that makes contact. It’s like the cast of STOMP is practicing up there. (Wow, STOMP. That’s an old reference.)

By now you’ve all come to the conclusion that it rained today, spurring this rant. Since all activity was canceled or un-imaginable, I spent most of the day in my room. However, I’m learning to pass the time and not lose my mind. I slept in to 8:00 am (super late for me now), studied Guarani a bit, read a Paraguayan newspaper, and watched a couple movies. Honestly, it could have been worse. One day it rained and I found myself down the internet rabbit hole researching Hydro-fracing for more time than I would like to admit. For all my lamenting, I’m sure upon my return to the states, I’ll be very sad each morning I wake up to the sound of rain and realize that yes Taylor, you still have to go to work today.

The rain may not be fun, but I still get to live here. That's pretty awesome.

Highlights Magazine....In real life!

I just put another round of photos on facebook. This album is of my house and some the the other residents. (Link is at the bottom) But why don't we take some time to get to know my new family before you go all stalker on them?

I essentially live in a game of hidden pictures. It looks beautiful and idilic, but then you begin to look closer and you see things that are just a little off.

 

Yeah, and that’s not the only bicycle in a tree either.









  I live with 10-ish other people depending if it’s the weekend or not. Five of whom are kids ranging from 4 to 14. We’re kinda like the Vontraps, but with less singing.

Meet Carlitos. (7)

He’s pretty high on the awesome scale. Carlos likes jumping out of trees, climbing barbed wire fences, and discussing the finer points of Machete use during a Zombie attack. (Go for the head, and if you make sure your machete is sharp enough you can get up to three zombies with one swing.)

Then we have Erica. (11)

Erica is quite, but once she starts to open up, she too climbs the ranks of awesome pretty quickly. She loves music, and plays the guitar. She generally spends her time getting the younger ones out or into trouble, depending.



 Let’s meet Marley. (9)


Marley is goofy. She likes to make funny faces, and tell dirty jokes. (They start them young here in Paraguay.)  Marley is really bright, and has aspirations to be a hairdresser. In general, girls aren’t encouraged to have life goals here. Honestly, I don’t know if boys are either. There’s a big push to get married and start making babies, even though it usually happens the other way around. So I commend Marley, and let her do funky things with my hair whenever she pleases. I’ll try to get ya’ll get some pics of her masterpieces.

Last, but certainly not least is Maria Ana. AKA Monsey.(4)


I once heard a comic describe children as “just like drunk midgets.”  If the above photo doesn't confirm this analogy lets review some of Monsey's other habits.

She never has her shoes on the correct feet. Nor does she like to walk in straight lines, unless the most direct path to where she is going involves crawling over furniture or people. She has a freakish ability to puff out her stomach to something that looks like a scene in alien. It's weird. We all agree, so she'll chase her brother Carlitos around the yard with her impossibly huge belly.  This is all with out even mentioning her ability to power down food. It makes no sense that something so small could consume so much. I have personally witnessed her take down over half a chicken, cabbage salad, and a couple pieces of mandioca. She really is very cute. Too cute. And unfortunately for all of us, she knows it. 

Well that’s most the kids. I’ll write another blog about the adults. They’re awesome too, but mildly less ridiculous.


Here's the  Link to the rest of the photos. 

Today's Adventure in Eating

Wanna know how to freak out an American in Paraguay?
Feed them a dish of unidentifiable cow innards with rice.

Wanna know how to freak out a Paraguayan?
 Put Siracha on unidentifiable cow innards with rice.

The long and the snort of it.

There are few loves in this world that are pure and true. When you find one you have to hold on to it. I, myself, have found such a love. No, I'm not referring to my darling novio, Zack, but rather a love I discovered much earlier in life. PORK

My love for pig products started with a humble ham sandwich and has grown to a rich mature love, embracing many facets of pigginess. Notables have included Pork Chops at Las Brisas, and the Italian Hoagie, and the pinnacle of pork products, Jamon Serrano.


I, like most young people in love, thought never a moment would come that I would think twice about my commitment. But alas, as with all lasting relationships there are struggles and low times. Today, I stared it straight in the snout.

This evening my host family dined on pig face, and I was given the honor of receiving the snout.  When first recieving this plate of what is essentially pig fat, I was not so alarmed. I love Pig fat! It smelled great, I assumed there was meat involved, somewhere. I was so very wrong.

I did not notice the nostril right away. I just was confused as to where on a pig is quite so cylindrical. Nonetheless, I cut off a piece and it was fatty and slimy, and worst of all it still has some hair on the skin. This was not succulent, sweet pork that I had known. It was rough. I turn the piece around looking for any spec of actual meat to carve out, and this hunk of fat's true origin reveals itself to me.

I was able to carve out enough meat to make a suitable dinner, and all together it wasn't that bad. I still love pork and all things piggy. But I guess nobody is perfect. This is just another chapter in a long love affair.